The Secret of Controlling Your Partner’s Orgasm
“In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger the orgasm. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practicing with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. When a partner eventually provides enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm, it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation.
Familiarity with one’s partner is thought to play an important role in helping individuals better understand their limits in what concerns sexual stimulation and its intensity. This aspect of orgasm control is mainly based on the idea that the entire practice is an acquired skill. This skill can only be developed through practice. Generally, individuals who practice the technique of orgasm control try it with the same person and discover their own limits. Knowing one’s limits in this matter is mandatory to be able to control the amount and intensity of the sexual stimulation so one can postpone the orgasm as much as possible. Moreover, practicing orgasm control with the same partner for longer periods of time is more likely to be more successful in achieving the goal. The reason behind this is perhaps the fact that the communication is more open between partners that are familiar with one another. Nonetheless, as orgasm control is an acquired skill, the technique is usually successful if both partners are aware of the others’ limits.
On the other hand, familiarity in this matter can be regarded from another perspective. In order to be able to control one’s orgasm, individuals must have a solid knowledge of their own body and how their body reacts at different levels of sexual arousal. Therefore, orgasm control is also closely connected with the familiarity between an individual and his/her own body. Being aware of the body’s limits in what concerns the intensity and duration of sexual stimulation is mandatory in order to be able to postpone climaxing. However, this is a technique that is learned by every person with time and which requires consistent practice. In the end, orgasm control is all about knowing one’s own body and it is not so much about the skills of the partner.”